About Shelts

shelt the shit - winking turd characterShelts Cards is a small, family run business. Here’s a brief overview of how, where and why oh why we’ve ended up drawing cocks, fanny’s and turds for a living.

The idea for Shelts Cards originated in 2002. Our founder used to work as Graphic Designer and started doodling bonkers drawings from his warped mind when he should have been working. It was at that point he thought “these would be funny as greeting cards” and went about starting up the business. The cards were printed, logo created, website started to take shape… but unfortunately it all came to an abrupt holt in 2004 due to some personal circumstances.

Fast forward 13 years to 2017 and we uncovered a wad of the ‘bonkers drawings’ SB had done all those years previous. With the likes of ‘The Viz’ comic books and ‘Celebrity Juice’ TV show still tipping the weight in favour of the non-woke, we felt we should revive the business and give the public the ‘bastard banter’ (i.e. If you greet friends with ‘hello you dickhead’ or ‘Ay you bastard where have you been’) they all need and deserve?

SB has now roped his wife GB into his loony side-business, along with other family members. So while the world turns into a dictatorship-woke-fest, lets not forget that some of us...just sometimes...still like to be called a twat by our friends.

Before you go, a little statement about the use of our products:

Shelts products are about having fun. If we discover you’re using our products for bullying or other malicious reasons then you’ll be banned, removed from our website and reported to the authorities. Shelts is about being a prick to your nearest and dearest with a bit of ‘bastard banter’. A good 21st Century wind-up is the way forward, but there’s no place for bullies in this world. No one likes a bully.

Life’s short, keep laughing.

Shelts :)

Collapsible content

What are the delivery times?

All of our orders are sent either the same day, or the day after ordering.

Delivery inside the UK

We send all of our cards through Royal Mail as a 2nd class delivery.

Royal mail state on their website that 2nd class delivery is delivered between 2-3 days (that's if they're not on strike!) we would suggest giving it at least 5 working days before you contact us about missing orders.

Outside of the UK

We send all cards as Royal Mail International Standard. Unfortunately for international orders we have to charge a postage and packing fee.

Please allow 2-17 working days for international orders.

What payment methods can I use at Shelts.com?

We use PayPal to process payments and keep everything as safe and secure as possible. PayPal accept all major debit and credit cards, therefore, we do too 🙂

You can pay by using your PayPal account or if you don’t have one of those, pay with any of the major credit cards as you would do with anything else online. We simply use PayPal to process it for us.

How secure is Shelts.com?

Very secure!

Our website is powered by Shopify, and security is top on the agenda. Here's what they say about security:

"Shopify is certified Level 1 PCI DSS compliant. This compliance extends by default to all stores powered by Shopify. We are very serious about securely hosting your store and have invested significant time and money to certify our solution is PCI compliant. From annual on-site assessments validating compliance to continuous risk management, we work hard to keep our shopping cart and ecommerce hosting secure.

For information about Shopify's PCI Compliance reports, see Viewing Shopify’s compliance reports."

- from Shopify.com

What happens after ordering?

As soon as we receive payment, we will 'pick and pack' your items and send either the same day or the next day.

In the meantime you will receive a confirmation email for your order.

Please check the 'delivery times' faq above for expected delivery times.

Can I return an item and get a refund?

No, sorry.

We don’t accept returns. So please check, check and check again that your order is correct before buying.

As our products are such a low cost, accepting returns just isn’t feasible and as such refunds wont be given.

Do you deliver outside of the UK?

We sure do!

However, sending international post is expensive! therefore any orders for outside of the UK are charged a postage and packing fee.

Do you offer gift cards?

Does a bear shit in the woods!? of course we do!

Use the search icon and search for 'gift card' and you'll find what you're looking for.

Can i customise my greeting cards?

Sadly, no. Not yet at least.

We’re a small little website only operated by 1-3 people. All of our products are sent to a third party for printing (no printing is done in-house), therefore we cannot print custom cards. In the future we hope so :)

What messages are printed on the inside of the card?

Nothing 🙂

We keep our cards free of cheesy, crap messages. They are entirely blank on the inside so you’re free to give your friends and family as much grief as you see fit.

What size are the cards?

All of our cards are the original, traditional greeting card size. A lovely 7" high by 5" wide. Who needs all those extra inches anyway?

Do my cards come with an envlope?

Of course! we're not tight.

All of our greeting cards will be posted to you with a separate 'peel and seal' white enevlope. This allows you to write your message inside the card and then seal it up and send to your friends yourself.